I have recently become more active on Facebook, reconnected with some dear old friends and made connections with new ones. My friends’ ages range from 18-65 and it is striking to me how different the two generations communicate.
Like me, most of my friends are middle-aged which puts us smack in the middle of two diametrically opposed styles of communicating.
Our parents were of the generation I call the “Secret-Keepers”. Everything was rosy in Family-ville on the outside but most families, if not all, had at least one White Elephant in the den. Some things should just be discussed openly for the mental health of all family members:
“Mom, why is there an ax-murderer behind the TV?”. “SHHHH! You’ll disturb your father. He’s reading the paper”.
Of course, this is an extreme example but you get my point.
Our children, on the other hand, are “Super-Sharers”. They will tell anybody everything that happens in their lives, your life, the neighbor’s lives, and so on. Don’t try pulling what our parents did with the White Elephant ruse….it will be all over Facebook and countless text messages before you can say ” We’re ruined. Cancel the club membership”.
So here we middle-agers are in the midst of a hyper-communicative world with the imprint of the “Secret-Keepers” on our brains. Every time I post something on my page, I spend at least five minutes rethinking that commitment: Am I offending anyone? Is my post bland enough to not have anything seem mean or ill-spirited? Have I been sufficiently rosy and happy?
Whereas my child has no problem firing off “I hate my mother! She drank all the vodka and ate pop tarts for dinner! I want to be emancipated!” Definitely things I would not normally share in polite conversation.
I attempt to be true to myself on my page without over-censorship but still maintain a smidgen of decorum. I want my friends to be entertained and engage in delightful and often silly exchanges. I cannot imagine anyone, even my mother, would want to see 5,000 photos of my children (“Oh look! He changed facial expressions. Get the camera!”). And don’t even get me started on the whole FarmVille evil dynasty. Whatever social skills these people had before they started playing have been totally depleted.